When You Want Skin
So Soft
You’d ruin a country for it
Nobody hates getting old more than our elected representatives. So we created a lotion that captures the warmth of whipped vanilla, the softness of a Super PAC donation, and the peaceful relief of secure polling numbers
Limited Edition
A richly textured body cream that glides effortlessly on the skin, delivering an intensive blend of ingredients such as the tears of migrant children, and our iconic dark lobby money formula.
Combined with a generous Super Pac donation and better committee assignments, this luxuriant body treatment helps the skin appear brighter and more supple.
4 oz/ 118 mL
Our Termless Promise
Pure Ingredients
Rapidly melts into the skin to provide lasting absent-mindedness
Small Batch
Handmade in America so you know it doesn’t know how to change its ways
Cruelty-Free
We make sure the children never have to do our jobs, even when they’re 35
Are You Starting to Feel Old?
Feeling like you've lost that youthful glow?
Feel like you're losing your stranglehold on your congressional seat?
Feel like the vigor and tautness you had has faded away, much like your poll numbers?
Then Termless skin cream is the one for you.
It's essential to any skincare regimen where there aren't term limits.
When you don't feel your best you can’t govern your best.
Enriching the skin with the perfect balance of retinol, peptides, and Super PAC money.
We’ve discovered the perfect balance of talking out of both sides of your mouth.
Because it's definitely NOT A PROBLEM that over 35% of the U.S. Congress is over 65.
It intensely nourishes and soothes dry skin for 48 hours so you can be set up for the next 48 years.
Clinically proven to boost your polling numbers within one election cycle.
Our secret blend of peptides and solvents will make sure you see out the rest of your term.
So grow your voter base, not your pores.